


soft boys TM

by lilhippo



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, blease dont judge me, this is m'very first fic and its bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 16:57:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9558470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilhippo/pseuds/lilhippo
Summary: bodhi has nightmares and cassian helps him? they are good pals TM and cassian's rlly gay and bodhi is oblivious idk idk idk its gonna b a slow burn. u'll like it folks





	

**Author's Note:**

> i have never ever written before in m'life so like... be gentle folks  
> also the pacings really fucked i wrote this on 3 hours of sleep and i can't tell what anything is so like.. leaf me alone  
> also shoutout to my big fucking overuse of em dashes

The water was shallow and calm on the beach, and the sun reflecting off its surface cast bright spots of light into Bodhi's eyes. It was hot, hot enough to make sweat drip down his nose and his goggles slip a little bit from their perch on his head. Then suddenly there were gunshots, and someone screamed, high pitched and anguished (was that him?), and then there was Cassian's face, twisted in pain, and Chirrut's body lying in the sand with Baze crumpled over him and then suddenly the grenade exploded and there was fire all around him, no escape—

Bodhi woke up, gasping, his sheets twisted and soaked with sweat. He sat up, blindly reaching for something, anything, to hold on to, and after a moment of panic his hand fell on the metal frame of the bed. He clutched it tightly, trying to calm his shuddering breaths.  
"It's ok. I'm ok. I'm on the base. I'm ok. They're ok." he whispered to himself. Bodhi reached up to brush the hair out of his eyes and took in a deep breath. He had been having nightmares since they got off Scarif, but lately they had gotten worse, not only at night but creeping into the daytime as well. He could barely look at Jyn, or Chirrut, or even Cassian without his chest getting tight and needing to run away, to just get away from them all. Every time he saw them he thought of them the way they appeared in his nightmares, bruised, broken, in pain, or worse, dead—

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. "Bodhi? Can I come in?" It was Cassian, the accent and the slightly gruff tone giving him away.

Bodhi sat there, silent, not completely realizing who Cassian was talking to.

"Bodhi?"

He shook himself. "Oh! Yeah. Just— just a minute." He grabbed the sheet that he'd kicked to the bottom of his bed and wrapped it around himself like a blanket, but whether it was for warmth or protection he didn't really know. He took a deep breath and steeled himself, trying to banish all the images of Cassian dying out of his head, before he walked to the door.  
It opened with a quiet whoosh of air to reveal Cassian's face, eyes bleary with sleep and hair rumpled, looking concernedly at Bodhi. 

"Bodhi. Is everything okay? I heard..." He trailed off. "You were screaming."

Bodhi flushed and looked away from Cassian's face, drawing the sheet tighter around himself. "Yeah. Just a nightmare. I'm fine." He shrugged, trying to appear casual, but his reddened eyes and the hunch of his shoulders under the sheet weren’t convincing.

Cassian huffed out an exasperated sigh, rubbing at his face. “Bodhi. I— You are clearly not fine.” He took a step closer to Bodhi and leaned against the doorway. “When was the last time you slept through the night?”

Bodhi tried to think, but his thoughts trailed back to Scarif, back to Eadu, back to Jedha, unable to recall anything but bad memories. “I— It—” He trailed off, looking anywhere other than Cassian. He felt too hot all of a sudden, and tears threatened to spill out of eyes. “I need to go,” he said, turning abruptly, not trying to be rude but it was suddenly all too much, he needed to get away, needed to breathe, needed to think about something else, anything else.

“Wait.” Cassian’s arm shot out, grabbing Bodhi’s wrist gently. “Hey. Look at me.” 

Bodhi didn’t want to turn, considered breaking out of Cassian’s gentle grasp and running to the ‘fresher to lock himself in, needing to hide, to run away—

“Bodhi?” Cassian’s voice interrupted his thoughts and he came back to himself, turning around to look at Cassian. 

“Bodhi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” said Cassian, his steady gaze holding Bodhi’s panicked one. 

Bodhi tried to let out a laugh, but it came out sounding more like a sob. “It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault,” he said shakily. He realized Cassian still hadn’t let go of his wrist, but strangely he didn’t mind. The touch helped to ground him, gave him a link to reality. “I just— I just don’t know,” he said, and suddenly he felt very small.

“Bodhi, hey,” Cassian looked worried all of a sudden, moving closer to Bodhi. “It’s okay.”

Bodhi realized with a start that he begun to cry without even noticing. He swiped haphazardly at his eyes, embarrassed to be crying in front of Cassian, but the thought only made the tears come faster. 

“Hey, hey,” Cassian soothed, gingerly drawing Bodhi into a hug. “I’m sorry. I just thought—” he sighed. “I’m sorry, Bodhi.” He wrapped his arms tighter around Bodhi, trying to give him some kind of anchor, until he felt Bodhi start to relax. They stood there like that for a long time, Cassian holding Bodhi, until Bodhi’s tears began to slowly subside and his breaths became deep and regular.

It was Bodhi who moved away first, whispering “Thank you,” in a broken voice. He felt calm, exhaustion washing over him in waves, suddenly wanting nothing more than to go to sleep.

“Anything for a friend.” replied Cassian, his voice soft and low. “Good night, Bodhi.”

Bodhi’s eyes were already closed, his breaths deep and slow, and so he didn’t see Cassian turn back to look at him once more before leaving. 

For the first time in a long time, Bodhi Rook had peaceful dreams that night.

**Author's Note:**

> if u are interested bodhi's panic attacks are like 100% taken from m'life... he's me


End file.
